Astroids and Googols

It all happened about a month and a half when my quaint sleepy life as a programmer is rocked by an astroid,
please dont get your "This guy does'nt know how to spell" antennas up because thats what this rant is all about "astroid".

well! it hit me on a quite day when I was working very hardly at work, she was roaming around the galaxy called the internet and somewhere in the solar system she saw a glowing sun called cool_machha, may be that struck her as weird and weirdness leads to curiosity and hence decided to take a look at it, needless to say that sun happens to be my name in the cosmic internet world and then the story started, since astroid has amassed huge knowledge due to her vast experience around the galaxy the sleepy programmer was amazed at the know how that tiny spec in proportion to the universe possessed, she had knowledge of everything , well almost everything but had a lousy spelling but thats all right as long as she could convey what she wanted to say, so we started throwing dust at each other in the form of electronic mails and internet hyperlinx and cosmic ocuurences.
Finally with the help of a transcosmic shipping company called yahoo we finally started talking in real time, this is something I still don't understand, if time is real then why do you need to call it real time ?Isn't it kinda redundant? if Time is not real then are we not existing anymore and that what our watches show is just another grand hoax by the people from timeland ?
Any way thus started the story ..........we talked about everything under the sun the moon and all the moons of other planets and some, turns out this little (not in size just a adjective I am using) astroid has a huge crush for a googol, yes its not google , googol is 1 followed by 100 zeros pretty heavy number eh? but in terms of astroids that nothing because she has seen the universe so a couple or hundred zeros also doesnt matter.
you may say this rant is outrageous how can an astroid have a crush on googol a number? I sure look like I sing a looney tune but hey this is the world of cosmic internet we are talking so anything is possible, just to prove my point I am calling astriod as she and googol as he, and if you look at it astroid is nothing but dust and gases so all this astroid wants to be is googol times its size, not a bad aspiration I should say.
so coming back to the programmer guy that is me what Is my part in her getting googol, well the answer is none, I have no Idea why I even discussed googol here but this rant is written for a reason unknown or that cannot be fathomed by a simple human mind that cannot even control the actions of its own hands that are typing this rant, so I guess all I was doin is killing time in between her trips around her universe and waiting for her return back to solar system every day.
All said and done astroid watching has become on one of my daily chores now, almost everyday we send messages thru the cosmic shipping company and she has been a good pal and all that an internet buddy can be.

Heres to you astro............ you WILL get the googol you love.

Finally I get a gmail account its vishnutej at gmail hahhhahahahaaaaaaaaa

For Kickz

Heres one of the many conversations we had during the making of the site contejious.com


GErajmohan: www.haimama.com

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: www.whatsnew.com?

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: www.bravelli.com

GErajmohan: is he chatting with u?

contejious: he will be coming shortly

contejious: just got home

GErajmohan: kewl

contejious: so he is getting refreshed

contejious: any new ideas ?????

contejious: did u try logging into our server ?

GErajmohan: nope mama

contejious: np

GErajmohan: how to do taht

GErajmohan: tell me

contejious: open command prompt

GErajmohan: then

contejious: type ftp vishnutej.com

contejious: enter u r username

contejious: passworj

contejious: password and u r in

GErajmohan: ftp www.vishutej.com

contejious: yeah

GErajmohan:

C:\>ftp www.vishnutej.com

> ftp: connect :Connection timed out

ftp>



GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: ok

contejious: some problem with ftp server

contejious: let me see later

contejious: inkenti mama sangathulu ?

GErajmohan: nothing much mama

GErajmohan: wotz the update with the name

GErajmohan: wot is that fuking bravelli doing

GErajmohan: he shud also come up with some words kada:-)

contejious: kiran sayz letz go with www.contejious.com :-)

contejious: yeah

contejious: he is busy mama

contejious: so let him do his thing

contejious: we are not in a hurry

contejious: the name can wait kada :-)

contejious: wants to do some short film for rushes2004

contejious: give him some ideas ra :-)

GErajmohan: :-)

GErajmohan: i told him that day itself

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: i can give ideas only for long films

contejious: paledhu mama Titanic --------a short film :-)

GErajmohan: www.shortfilmssuks.com

contejious: www.shortfilmsarefun.com

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: www.longfilmsrule.com

contejious: www.longsfilmsareboring.sux

contejious: :P

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: :-P

GErajmohan: :P doesn't work in AOL:-(

GErajmohan: ;-) also

contejious: yeah

GErajmohan: oh ; ) works

contejious: thats sux too

GErajmohan: ;-)

GErajmohan: www.aolsuks.com

contejious: www.thingy.com

GErajmohan: as of now i feel contejious.com is good

contejious: www.thingei.com

GErajmohan: www.dengey.com:-)

contejious: what abt my other suggestions ?

contejious: lioke gofus :-)

contejious: yeah thats what I rhyme it with

contejious: thingei dengai

contejious: :-)

contejious: but thingei is a word with no meaning

contejious: that rhymes with dengai

contejious: so everybody remembers it :0

GErajmohan: O:-):-D

GErajmohan: but females will run away then

GErajmohan: thatz wot is the probs kada

contejious: no they wont

contejious: will you tell them about this analogy >????/

GErajmohan: if it were only male network then we can even go for www.dengey.com

contejious: :-))

contejious: needi nenu naadi nuvvu pattukovali :-)

contejious: appudu

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: www.epeople.com

GErajmohan: is this registered?

GErajmohan: www.epeople.fuk???

GErajmohan: www.eppl.com can also be looked into

GErajmohan: wot do u say?

contejious: epeople taken

GErajmohan: eppl.com

GErajmohan: :-)

contejious: eppl taken

contejious: both .com and .net

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: sux

GErajmohan: www.mtv.net

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: www.rtkr.com

GErajmohan: www.rajtejkiranraj.com

GErajmohan: www.hold.com ?????

contejious: mama epeople.net expires on 23 nov mama

contejious: this year

GErajmohan: so long

contejious: may be we can change our domain name then

GErajmohan: can we expire it today?

contejious: :-))

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: i wish

GErajmohan: www.sociale.com

GErajmohan: www.esocial.com

GErajmohan: www.both.fuk ????

contejious: sociale is for sale

contejious: lest see the price

GErajmohan: cool

contejious: The quoted price will be at least $688 and may be over $10,000

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: www.groop.com

contejious: still want it ?

GErajmohan: www.nomama.com

GErajmohan: www.groop.com

contejious: www.groopin.com

contejious: is available

GErajmohan: cool

contejious: want that ?

contejious: www.wantthat.com

GErajmohan: add that to ur shopping cart:-)

contejious: sux

contejious: www.sux.com

GErajmohan: www.sux.fuk ???

contejious: everything is registered ra

contejious: I am getting impatient

contejious: and frustrated

GErajmohan: www.impatient.com

contejious: how abt www.inpatient.com :-)

GErajmohan: www.fcuk.com

contejious: :P

GErajmohan: frech connection united kingdom

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: u know abt this brand mama

contejious: :-)

contejious: how abt FOLA ??????????????????

GErajmohan: wotz that?

contejious: Frustrated One Sided Lovers Association

GErajmohan: yeah

GErajmohan: click on www.fcuk.com

GErajmohan: www.nostalgia.com

contejious: kewl

contejious: why do u want nostalgia dude

contejious: its not abt nostalgia anymore

GErajmohan: just like that

contejious: :-)

contejious: taken

GErajmohan: u watch the site www.fcuk.com

contejious: yeah

contejious: its cool

contejious: awesome flash

contejious: mostly for women kada

GErajmohan: French connection united kingdom is the expansion

GErajmohan: no mama

GErajmohan: men also

contejious: oh

contejious: kewl deal

GErajmohan: i had a Tshirt

contejious: nuvvu katti mama

contejious: French Connection

GErajmohan: 1 my friend got it from UK

contejious: United Kingdon

contejious: USa

GErajmohan: but now itz www.fuckedup.com

GErajmohan: UK

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: is there a outlet in US too for fuck.com

contejious: no ra

contejious: its totally fucked up

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: so not here :-)

contejious: its an anagram for fuck for godsakes :-)

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: that ture

contejious: isnt it obvious 8-)

GErajmohan: :-P

GErajmohan: bravelli.com

contejious: dunno ra

contejious: freshing up :-)

GErajmohan: www.bra2rush.com

contejious: www.shagging.com

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: www.freshing.com

GErajmohan: mama

GErajmohan: 1 idea

GErajmohan: www.*irus.com

GErajmohan: * can be anything A-Z

GErajmohan: then we can create a expansion for it

GErajmohan: bra can do that like megham:-)

GErajmohan: BUZZ

contejious: why *irus ?

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: just like that mama

GErajmohan: *irus contejious kada

contejious: :-)

contejious: cyrus the virus

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: lets see

contejious: hirus

GErajmohan: firus

contejious: birus

contejious: kirus

GErajmohan: :-)

contejious: tirus

contejious: wirus

GErajmohan: zirus.

GErajmohan: u know this

contejious: wirus.com

contejious: :-))

GErajmohan: www.mikerowsoft.com

contejious: palm zirus

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: u know this site www.mikerowsoft.com

contejious: yeah

contejious: I know the whole story of Mr mike row from canada :-)

contejious: how abt wireuz?

contejious: wireuz.com?

GErajmohan: :-Dkitti kada

GErajmohan: yeah

GErajmohan: wirus.com ledaaa?

GErajmohan: www.wirus.fuk

contejious: no but wiruz undi

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: cool

GErajmohan: viruz vundaaaaaaaa

GErajmohan: ?

contejious: let me see

contejious: taken

contejious: wire us

contejious: not a bad name ra

GErajmohan: yeah mama

contejious: whatddya say ?



contejious: like connect us

GErajmohan: www.wireuz.com

contejious: right

GErajmohan: that ture

GErajmohan: www.wireus.com ledaaaaaaaa?

GErajmohan: so that itz easy to understand

contejious: wireus.net is there

GErajmohan: mtv

contejious: I think we can settle for that

contejious: also

GErajmohan: add it to the shopping cart:-)

contejious: vaakay

GErajmohan: how abt www.vaakey.com

GErajmohan: :-)

GErajmohan: www.vankay.com

contejious: wireus.com expires Record expires on 03-Jul-2004

GErajmohan: www.jaanjigrimejamkay.com

contejious: we wait till then with wireus.net and then we get wireus.com

contejious: whatddya say ?

GErajmohan: www.jjmej.com

GErajmohan: thatz good mama

contejious: jjngs

GErajmohan: www.egang.com

contejious: jan jankalmalli nee gudallo sulli :-)

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: www.dictionary.com

GErajmohan: we can check

contejious: its taken ra

contejious: i go there often :-)

GErajmohan: the synonyms here

contejious: www.thesaurus.com also

GErajmohan: no ra

GErajmohan: yeah

GErajmohan: we have few words in mind

contejious: egang taken

GErajmohan: we will check for the synonyms

contejious: alrady done that

contejious: u also try

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: I am running out of ideas

GErajmohan: www.gangbang.com

GErajmohan: :-*

contejious: good one :-)

GErajmohan: taken?

contejious: u bet

GErajmohan: www.emob.com

contejious: thats too rowdy :-)

contejious: like ebom*

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: www.ecombo.com

GErajmohan: www.ecrew.com

contejious: escrew.com

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: www.etroupe.com

contejious: hey see this contejious.blogspot.com

contejious: :-)

contejious: enaadu.com :-)

GErajmohan: mama

GErajmohan: recording avuthundi:-)

GErajmohan: www.recorddance.com

contejious: :-)

contejious: taken

GErajmohan: www.etroupe.com

contejious: not bad

GErajmohan: add to cart

contejious: but taken

GErajmohan: denamma

GErajmohan: n

GErajmohan: denga

contejious: :-)

contejious: did u see the blog ?

contejious: http://contejious.blogspot.com

GErajmohan: www.ejacklation.com

GErajmohan: i am seeing it mamam

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: recording there

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: www.hookup.com

contejious: yeah

contejious: but it sounds like a dating site ra :-)

GErajmohan: yeah

GErajmohan: www.fukup.com

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: man

contejious: so many days spent not a single satisfactory word

contejious: that sux Mr PR

GErajmohan: www.pack.com

contejious: u are fired

GErajmohan: adeeraaaa

GErajmohan: ati telvi ekkuvaiteee edi naccadhu

GErajmohan: adi sangathi

contejious: ati telivi antane ekkuva telivi ra

GErajmohan: manaki gudda balpu

contejious: :-)

contejious: that is 100% true

GErajmohan: mama 1 gr8 doubt

GErajmohan: website peeru kee inta dengicchukuntunnam

GErajmohan: pellam select cheesukunee varaku modda oosipoddi

contejious: total site ki enta denginchukuntam antava ??

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: anduke daaniki mana parents ki vadileiyali

GErajmohan: :-D

contejious: appudu respect+money

GErajmohan: thatz ture

GErajmohan: www.cut+paste.com

contejious: + gudda bagala pellam vastai

contejious: cut&paste

GErajmohan: www.reunite.com

contejious: spray and splat

GErajmohan: wot do u say abt this mama

GErajmohan: www.reunite.com

GErajmohan: www.eunite.com

contejious: its funny click on this www.reunite.com

contejious: :-)



GErajmohan: :-)

GErajmohan: www.adoption.com

GErajmohan: how abt www.eunite.com

contejious: domain for sale

GErajmohan: i like this 1

contejious: antay we cant afford any artham

GErajmohan: :-D

GErajmohan: www.eunite.net

contejious: kadka gallam kada :-)

GErajmohan: www.eunite.fuk

contejious: :-)

GErajmohan: www.eunite.org ???

contejious: all taken

GErajmohan: www.ebuddy.com

GErajmohan: www.ebuddu.com :-)

contejious: mari commercial ga undi mama

contejious: ebuddy antay

GErajmohan: www.ebuddu.com

contejious: I still vote for wireus

contejious: emantave ?

GErajmohan: yeah...thatz already in the cart kada

contejious: yeah I vote for contejious,goaf,wireus

contejious: actually gofus

GErajmohan: www.ring.com

GErajmohan: www.whole.com ?

contejious: www.ringlofinger.com

GErajmohan: www.ehole.com

contejious: eholelopole.com

contejious: where is bra ............?

contejious: mama nuvvu enta varaku untavu ikkada ?

GErajmohan: for 2 hrs

contejious: vaakay

contejious: I will go to luch and be back

GErajmohan: sure

GErajmohan: go a head

contejious: tty l8r

contejious: bye

contejious: bra vastay let him know I will be back in an hour

GErajmohan: sure mama

GErajmohan: www.tty18r.com

contejious: bye

A boring look into my working day

This loop is repeated from Monday to Friday

8:00 am
Switch off the cell phone alarm,(coz' I am cheapo I never managed to buy a real alarm clock that scares the sh** out of you and your neighbor's!).
Yawn!Goodmorning America ,Intel here I come for another day in your service.

8:45 am
Pant!Pant! Getting late to work where the %@#$%@$ are my car keys I KNOW I kept them near my computer.....Somewhere within the 100 Ft radius.

8:55 am

OK, Finally found the keys,start the car pull out of the driveway ..........Wait I forgot the ID cant get in at work without it, going back to get it.

9:03 am
At my workplace at last,just 3 minutes late though hope my boss is not in already, will make it on time tomorrow (Resolution#1).
Observation:Why is that my boss is always late when I am early and early when I am late?

9:04 am
Saved by the meeting, its not scheduled to start till 9:30 so lets see what's happening in the world!

check mail
Internal,yahoo,hotmail,lycos google news, Slashdot in chronological order. Nothing interesting except sales pitches for debt consolidation and vi@gra.

9:30 am
start meeting either at desk or in conference room

Scenario 1: I have my headset on and frequently uttering phrases Uhhhh haa.....yes...ok to make myself
useful and to let the other guys know that I am still working with them.
After all the salient points are discussed and the work load adressed break!

Scenario 2: I am in the meeting room trying hard to stay awake.They should all have NODOZ's in the conference rooms for poor souls like me who cant help but drift in to the dreamy world at the drop of a hat.(Resolution #2) Not to sleep during the meeting!
Scenario 3:
No meetings Today so trying hard to get to work and look busy!Put on a pair of headphones and concentrate hard on the monitor.If only
staring could get the work done!


11:00 am
Break Room:
Water cooler Network
Since I dont drink cofee or tea the only beverage that suits me in the break room is the good old dihydrogen oxide or water
for the lesser informed souls.There is no news scoops yet on anything new in the office from the official office grapevine.

11:05 am
Get back to work!Change the source of the staring to the bottom right hand corner of the monitor(The place where you have the time on a
windows desktop).Try to work.


12:00 pm
Its lunch time bolt out of the door as soon as the clock hits 12 as you have to beat the lunch rush at Quizno's.

12:03 pm
Quizno's:
I stand in line for abt 2 minutes, the lady behind the counter recognizes me makes my usual sandwich.

12:05 pm
I pay for the sandwich and get out.!

12:13 pm
I am home and my roomie greets me with the usual wassup!
I reply "Nothing much Just here for lunch!"
Get in to my room open my sandwich switch on the T.V and eat.

12:30 pm
Flip channel to watch Tom and Jerry

12:52 pm
Get up and start towards the car....Damn Forgot the keys again...Will have to take off the shoes to get back in to my room.My roomie was a buddhist monk in his last birth hence the no shoes policy in the house.

1:00 pm
Back from lunch Now starts the second innings,
Finally I decided its time for me to work as reality hits that the work was due yesterday.Time flies when you do that but obviously the turbulence hits when you are in the middle of your work and your server crashes or something to that effect.There is not single day in a programmers life when he is not plagued by unforseen problems which he thinks he has already forseen,

Some moron in another dept tries to open an email attachment which brings in a worm that crashes the network and thereby delaying your webapplication deployment. Ah sweet are the experiences working with M$ products.Especially Outlook and IE

3:00 pm
Break
WaterCoolerNetwork
Mr JoeSixpack is discussing the performance of kings game and the usefulness of weber in the team.

5:00 pm
One more hour to go Need to work ...........just one more hour...............errrrrr......may be more

6:00 pm
Packing up ready to leave..........wait wait is that my boss?
yes it is .
Tej could you do this "Fill some $%#%#$%# work here " before you leave ?
Yes boss!,
6:01 pm working
6:02 pm working
.
.
.
.
.
7:09 pm Done. Can go home NOw! sneak out before somebody sees u

7:15 pm
Home at last , My roomie sitting on the couch watching his big screen T.V says wassup
I reply "Nothing much man Just got back from work"
Go into my room and fall flat on the bed,

7:55 pm
The sleep takes you over till you hear voices.......
I think they are voices in my head but as I gain consciousness from my slumber I realize thats indeed two people talking,Must be Tim my roomies friend.

I walk in to the living room

Tim: wassup contejiuos ?

Me: Nothing much man! howz work

Tim: "Somthing about his work"

Tim: What are u guys doing for dinner ? (Since its a bacheoler pad cooking at home is usually ruled out)

Oh no he has raised "THe QUESTION" the question no one dares to answer.

We start picking up alternatives .........alternatives that are cheap but not fast.

Pizza............
Chinese..........
Indian...........
Mongolian........
Human............
DogFood..........

8:35 pm Finally after a heated debate as if our life depended on it we pick XYZ .

8:45 pm We are at XYZ and the place is abt to close, we order something,

9:00 pm The cell phone starts ringing its my ex, had to talk to her coz she got hit by a car. If only I was the lucky guy driving the car.Phew! 10 minutes to get rid of her.

9:20
eat the food, pay and get out.

9:10 pm
Back to my room .......is anything interesting on T.V tonight except getting fired by trump and midgets getting married , or people trying to eat the most disgusting of things to get 100 bucks.

9:20 pm
Relax and turn on the T.V.............nothing on turn it off

9:30 pm
Phone rings again.......My dad and mom , this is the best moment I look forward to everyday.Talk to 2 minutes and hang up since there is nothing new to talk everyday.

10:00 pm Put on my headphones and listen to an e-book, right now its Dan Browmn's DaVinci Code.

10:15 pm Drift to sleep.............wakeup turn off my headphones and go back to sleep.